You know those moments when you're trying to be supermom and do it all, and then life smacks you in the face, laughs a little, and then you roll in the floor laughing at your silly attempt to actually be supermom? I had one of those moments this week.
It's been coming for a while... but I've been in denial.
As most new moms, before the babies were born I had a LOT of great ideas and intentions about how I was going to do this and that. I was making a tedious list of how to cloth diaper, make your own baby food, get two babies to simultaneously sleep all night and take 2-3 naps a day. (all of you experienced moms are laughing your heads off at me right now... I know... I know). I had my books, how-to blogs, and mommy groups online telling me that "You can do it if you just stick to it and follow these simple 342817234 rules." And I was convinced that I could do it all. After all, how hard can it be to train two lil babies? I mean, if I could train a dog to do whatever I want it to, surely I can train a baby or two? Right?
So. Very. Wrong.
Some things have gone as planned... and some things... well, let's just say we've had to improvise a little. And by improvise I mean jump ship, burn the books, and do whatever it takes to survive.
For example. I've been battling with the whole making my own baby food. I started the girls out on avocados and bananas. And I was like... I AM AWESOME. Look at my babies eating homemade food without preservatives. Blah. blah. blah. I'm the Rachel Ray of baby food! Blah. blah. blah. And then I moved onto other foods like peas & carrots & green beans & BAM. All of the sudden I have one baby who LOVES whatever I shove into her mouth... and the other who does this:
I had read in one of those books that I burned that even if they don't like it at first, just keep introducing it to them and training them to eat it. So I did. I kept trying. And trying. And trying. And changing my strategy. And trying again. And again. And again. And to no prevail... Felicity still refused to eat most of my homemade veggies.
So I switched the recipe. I added this and that. I tried to change the texture. I tried it ALL. And still... months later. Homegirl won't eat my homemade veggies. Now fruit... we're all good with. Avocados... YES. Sweet Potatoes, Of course! But basically all other pureed veggies. Heck to the no. It's a battle I was determined to win... so I kept trying.
So one day last week, I went to the grocery store to pick up packaged veggie purees to mix with my homemade stuff and while I was checking out the cashier politely said, "Have you ever tried making your own baby food? It's super easy and it saves you a TON of money?" To which I jumped over the counter and pinned the sweet cashier to the ground and YELLED, "YES I'VE TRIED!!!!" and then started crying. Ok, fine. I didn't do that. But I thought about it. Instead, I politely smiled and lied, "Oh wow! No I never thought of that... I'll have to try that sometime." And then walked out of the store even more determined to get Felicity to eat.
With Destiny's Child's Survivor remix bumping in the mini for inspiration, I drove home to prepare for the battle. And when I pulled into the drive, I was ready. I went to town and destroyed my kitchen making a ton of baby food. I mixed this and that. I laid hands on the veggies and prayed. I put together the best combo I could possibly think of and tossed 'em into the Baby Bullet with such a passion that I was sure she was going to just love it.
This time it was going to work.
I was ready for battle, and I am certain that Felicity could smell the determination because she too was prepared for battle. She had her mouth clamped shut & that look in her eyes. And I'm pretty sure I heard her say, "Bring it on Mom. BRING. IT. ON." I won't bore you with the details of my defeat. But all you need to know is that there were tears, food spewed EVERY WHERE, and at the end of the battle Felicity was eating veggies. Just not the veggies that I had made.
And it hit me while I was crouched in the fetal position, licking my wounds in the corner of my puree covered kitchen. All the hours I put into making their food. All of the time I spent fighting with her to eat it. All of the energy I put into it. It's just NOT WORTH IT. The important thing was that she's eating veggies. Whether they're my gourmet homemade puree or Gerber's nasty prepackaged puree... it doesn't really matter at the end of the day. I'm not going to get an extra jewel in my crown in heaven for making my own baby food. It doesn't make me a better/worse mom. So just let it be.
So I gave up, retired my supermom cape, & decided to just bite the bullet and buy most of their baby food. And since then, almost every time I go to the store and checkout with baby food, someone says to me, "Have you ever tried making your own? I hear it saves a ton of money!" and I just have to fight the urge to smack them... and instead just laugh at God's simple way of reminding me that I'm not perfect and I can't do it all. And at the end of the day, I wouldn't have it any other way. It's been a good lesson for me to learn. But if I start to twitch when you start talking about how you make all your homemade baby food... now you know why. ;)
Supermom - 0, Baby Food - 1
Hope y'all all have a happy Monday! Much love to you all...