Yall, I love writing. I really do. But I haven't quite mastered the art of writing every day... or every week for that matter. But for some reason, having children has significantly increased my desire to write and significantly decreased my "available" time to write! ;)
Last week was one of those weeks where I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to write. I'd lay in bed at night exhausted, and then my mind would start going and I'd write a blogpost in my head... and then I'd fall asleep and it'd be gone... forever. I'm not really sure where those writing ideas go... but they are lost for good. I really need to start leaving my computer on my nightstand. Perhaps I'd be able to crank out more blogposts... although WHO KNOWS what the grammar/spelling would be like if I posted them at 2 in the morning. Glory... I can only imagine.
Anyways, last week the girls were sickly... and by sickly I mean they had both a stomach virus and a sinus infection. Holy Diapers. I also think they cut some teeth. Glory. And before you blame the tummy virus and snot on teething... nope. They legitimately had all three going on at the same time & are now on their first round of antibiotics. After they stopped eating, I figured it was time to take the girls to the doctor for their first "sick" visit. Although I'm pretty sure they stopped eating real food because they kept eating the snot that continually ran into their mouths. I mean... How can you be hungry when you're munchin' on green boogs all day? Hello, they're green - that counts as a veggie right?
Anyways, I had a few nights that brought me back to the early days. No sleep & rocking babies all night. And I have to confess... I LOVED IT. Now I didn't love the next day when I had to stay awake again and function like a normal person... but those nighttime snuggles, once I finally got them to sleep on me, y'all it was almost enough to make me want to have another. And by almost... I mean not really at all. But you get the idea.
Back to the point of this blogpost.
This last week was a week of survival. And in those moments of tears, snot, and poop, I was trying to figure out how to get other life things done. And honestly, without the help of friends/family. I'm not sure I would have accomplished a darn thing last week.
You know those perfect weeks when all of your kids are healthy and behave wonderfully and you can conquer tasks during nap times like it's nobody's business? Yeah, I keep waiting for those weeks to happen. I read blogs of runner moms who get up at 5am to bust out a 6 mile run, and then other mommy bloggers who make a perfectly organic and healthy breakfast, home-school their 6 kids, make fancy wreaths during craft time, go on a run with their perfectly groomed dogs, and take their kids to a soup kitchen to serve the poor ALL BEFORE NOON and still had time to blog about it. And then I look at my days/weeks, and I'm like... welp... Everyone was fed, we're alive, my bed was made (at least once), and I may or may not have had time to blog about the color of my girls snot.
And honestly, I'm ok with it.
Because we're finding our own balance. And like I've said before... Comparison is the thief of all joy. Some weeks are better than others. Some have more showers than others. And if I judge the success of a week based on amount of showers, miles logged, or successful pinterest projects, I'd be failing... a lot. Instead I want to base our "success" as a family on how intentional we are with one another. Did we love each other well? Did we love our church body well this week? Were we able to bless others? Were we kind to one another? Did the Mister and I have time together this week away from the babies? This sort of measurement has an eternal value, but it is also a lot messier. Because the more people you let into your life, the messier it gets. People are complicated. Lives are messy. And loving others is hard. But that's really what the Mister and I feel called to. And as a mom, I have GOT to let go of "the ideal" and cling to the cross instead. Because the cross didn't just save me one time a long time ago, it is continually saving me today and will do so tomorrow and years to come. The cross is just as relevant to me as a mom, as it was to me as grad student wanting to be a missionary.
I can't live up to this world's standards of motherhood. It's not going to happen, and I'm not even going to try. But thankfully, I don't have to. God hasn't called me to do that. He's only called me to be a faithful wife, loving mother, devoted disciple, and encouraging church member.
And that's what I'm preaching to myself this week. ;)
Ps. This picture has NOTHING to do with the post... but it makes me laugh... sigh... Sweet lil is checkin' on her sister. Be still my heart.