Well friends, it's not even 9am and I've thrown up 3 x's so needless to say I'm taking the day off from school. Over the weekend I thought that maybe I was to a point where I could ween myself off of Zofran (anti-nausea meds) and evidently my body isn't ready to function fully by itself yet. Oh well... maybe next week. Anyways, I've had this blogpost in my head for a while now but just haven't had the time to bust it out. Thanks to the girls making me vomit all morning and not letting me sleep, I figured now is a good time. Why not right?
If you've been a blog reader for a while, you'll know that one of the things that I'm really passionate about in the Christian realm is women being good theologians. Here's my beef - I see women all across our churches serving selflessly. They're serving in a variety of ministries, serving their families, other families, their small groups, etc. We are definitely a busy group (definitely not LAZY) that is juggling multiple tasks - and when I look around I see a lot of tired women from serving! But here's my question: how many of us are discipling other women? How many of us are thinking deeply on Scripture and teaching other women to do so as well.
Don't get me wrong, we women know how to teach other women how to behave, how to dress, what is morally appropriate for our church's cultural norms... but that is all oriented around behavior modification... not the Gospel. As I enter this new phase of life - motherhood - one of my fears is that I won't stay "salty." I was talking about this to a sweet friend of mine who always is encouraging me to go further in my walk with the Lord. I confessed to her that in these past few months of grad. school, teaching full-time, and being sick... my time with the Lord has been minimal. I can already see how easy it would be to become wrapped up in "survival" or even just the joys of being a wife and mother and to lose the discipline of thinking rightly on Scripture. And I cannot judge the women who fall into that trap because my babies aren't even here yet and my time has been limited - I can't even imagine what it'll be like in the Fall! All that to say, my friend was encouraging me to not lose my "saltiness" by giving examples of other women we know who have remained salty.
Yet still... I ask the question of how do we do it? Not just as mothers and wives, but as women (both single and married)? How do we stay salty? How do our lives remain fragrant of the goodness of the Gospel? I just keep thinking back about this old blogpost and really think that if we believe that the good news found in the life, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ isn't gender specific (which I full heartedly do not), then its implications must implore us to action. It should ignite a passion in us to consistently be growing and knowing more about our Savior.
Yes, I do think our Christian culture has created an environment where the female voice in theological/academic/ecclesiological debates has to fight to be heard... but we cannot use this as an excuse any longer. The mandate for women to make disciples (which implies ongoing discipleship) must be heard, understood, and then obeyed. Otherwise, ladies, I hate to admit it but we're living in sin. And if I was reallllllly honest with myself and I don't really want to be on this issue... when I look around at our churches - many of the women in it (although good intentioned, hard working, servants of the church) are living in sin in this area - MYSELF INCLUDED.
One thing is for sure... I've come to the conclusion that staying salty definitely doesn't happen by oneself - it's done in community with other believers. We need... I need... older women in life to walk beside me and show me how to balance family, friends, church, and theology. And I know a lot of younger women who are longing for someone to take them under their wings and study Scripture deeply. This process isn't meant to be journeyed alone! And its implications are significant - we either stay salty and bless our churches, families, and communities or we lose our saltiness and unintentionally ascribe to a moralistic deism that ultimately leads to a works-oriented emptiness that negatively impacts our spheres of influence.
Ok... that's what's been on my heart lately. I am fearful of becoming "one of those moms" who gets so obsessed with her family that she forgets her ultimate purpose. But I'm sifting through it right now and trying to figure out what changes need to be made and safeguards put in place. Although I don't have all the answers to my questions... I did want to share my heart on the issue and just give you a peek at where I'm at spiritually these days since I've been relatively silent on that front these past few months.
On a much lighter note - today is a doctor day! So we get to see the girls again. :) Lord-willing I'll be able to keep some food down and start functioning better so I can enjoy this visit!
Much love to you all...